Is there a duller piece in the classical repertoire than The Lark Ascending?
I often think that Vaughan Williams (above) only composed it to annoy people (i.e me); with its repeated cod-folksy violin phrases and endless smooth string textures groaning away underneath. All the way through a performance I just wish the damn lark would ascend a bit quicker, or perhaps be shot down to put us out of our misery (surely a gift for a Hoffnung-type concert...).
But of course it's 'relaxing' in that Classic FM type of way, and completely inoffensive tonally, which is why the station that doesn't care about music has just voted the piece it's Number One.
There is never a time when Classic FM isn't running a mind-numbing chart but the one held over the Easter break was their biggie. The BBC website has a report on it HERE. Classic FM's own site is HERE. And here's The Guardian's Stephen Moss on the poll, being very funny as always.
Darren Henley of Classic FM tells us that 'the British public have spoken'. No they haven't.
The Top Ten, which includes Rachmaninov's 2nd Piano Concerto (famous bit only), Beethoven's Emperor Concerto (slow movement only) and Elgar's Cello Concerto (first bar only), doesn't of course reflect 'Britain's favourites' at all, rather 'The listeners of Classic FM's favourite pieces they have heard on Classic FM'. If Radio 3 ran a similar countdown (this is NOT a hint, Roger Wright...) then the results would be very different as the listeners are, on the whole, more musically educated.
But anyway, countdowns of classical music are always going to be crass and irrelevant and anyone who takes them seriously can't like music very much. Which makes Classic FM the perfect home for them. Their presenters rarely know anything about classical music (with a couple of notable exceptions - Natalie Wheen, former Radio 3 presenter, and even David Mellor, who does at least show knowledge and compassion for music) - indeed, Henley seems to go out of his way to find presenters who have nothing whatsoever to do with classical music (Margherita Taylor, anyone?). The presentation of music as lovely wallpaper that should make you feel warm and cuddly and as a commercial commodity to be rated and ordered in a Top 100 chart leaves a nasty taste in the mouth - does anyone at Classic actually LISTEN to the music, or even care about it? And the suggestion that classical music can only be truly great if it makes you 'relax' is the worst Classic FM crime of all.
I'll relax when that bloody lark shuts up.
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
Someone shoot the Lark
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2 comments:
I rather enjoy the Lark on an occasional basis. But CFM is like a box of liqueurs - best savored briefly, and occasionally. To listen 24/7 is inviting musical indigestion and I still can't listen to Peer Gynt or Delius' music after overdosing on it them my teens.
The chart was even more fixed this year. In previous years, you could e-mail your top three favourites. But this year you couldn't, they had a long list to choose from on their website. It was possible to add a new work if it wasn't on the list, but it's inevitable that fewer people would do that. I only looked at the list for a few seconds, but I noticed two or three mistakes - works attributed to the wrong composers. I e-mailed them and received a reply saying they'd fix it, but that was only a couple of days before the poll closed.
Check out my website for some views on recent changes at Classic FM, such as Margherita Taylor.
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